A wedding dress code is becoming a kind of must-have on couples’ special days. Everybody tries to create their weddings with some theme to look like their dream fairytale, you know?
Whether it’s just a color, specific style of dresses or some theme, like, let’s say ‘ocean vibes’, it’s important for couples that guests follow up on that. However, there are some cases when people just can’t comply with this dress code, such as health conditions. Well, then it’s time to compromise (or start drama if the dress code is more important than the guests).
More info: Reddit
Black tie, long sleeves and floor-length gowns for a dress code may be really hard to follow on an incredibly hot day
Image credits: MATEO BASTIDAS (not the actual photo)
Woman asks if she is being a jerk for not going to her sister-in-law’s wedding due to the strict dress code
Image credits: throwawaythechanges
Image credits: jjshouse (not the actual photo)
She shares that the conflict started because she is pregnant and overheats very easily
Image credits: throwawaythechanges
Image credits: Edgars Kisuro (not the actual photo)
The bride-to-be freaked out and didn’t agree to compromise even on the smallest change which would have been good for the woman’s health
Image credits: throwawaythechanges
She ended up being called selfish for saying that in that case, she will not be attending the wedding at all
Recently, a woman shared her story to one of the most judgmental Reddit communities asking its members if she was indeed being a jerk for skipping her sister-in-law’s wedding after she refused to compromise on the strict dress code. The post received a lot of attention and support and in just 1 day it had 13.5K upvotes and more than 3.4K comments.
She starts her story by sharing that she had a conflict with her sister’s husband due to her strict wedding dress code, which she can not fully stick to. She is pregnant and black tie, long sleeves and long gown is not the easiest one to follow in hot weather for the whole day. Despite the woman’s suggestions about different dresses, her SIL is completely adamant about exactly what she wants.
Well, the author then informed her that she will not be able to attend the wedding, as it’s fair that SIL wants to have her perfect day, but she needs to look out for her health as well. Obviously, this led to a heated argument in which the woman was accused of being selfish as this is SIL’s wedding day and it’s not about her and her baby. However, OP still doesn’t think that she has to sacrifice her health.
The woman was voted not a jerk in this situation by folks online. People shared their personal experiences in similar situations and agreed that she needs to look out for her health. “I got heat stroke at an outdoor wedding while pregnant last year,” one user wrote. “I’m not pregnant and I wouldn’t adhere to that dress code in this heat,” another added.
Image credits: Alexandra Maria (not the actual photo)
For context, if you are confused about the black-tie dress code and why it’s so big a deal, I’ve got you covered. According to Brides, simply said, formal evening gatherings usually call for black-tie attire. Guests are obliged to wear floor-length gowns and suits or tuxedos as this is the second-most formal dress code after white-tie clothing. Okay, but let’s not skip the word evening.
Long story short, such dress codes are usually required for evening events, when it’s not too hot, which, as we know from the story, is completely opposite from the wedding. Looks like the possibility of overheating will be real for many people at the ceremony.
Moreover, speaking about dressing for summer weddings in general, style expert Blaire Walsh says that it’s important to keep the heat in mind. When deciding what to wear to a summer wedding, lightweight, breathable materials will be your savior, especially if you’re going to a posh event in a hot and humid climate.
In case you are planning your weddings in summer and thinking about the dress code, keep in mind weather conditions and place of the wedding. For example, The Brides Of Long Island states that, for example, if you desire a black-tie wedding in the middle of July, your guests may feel uncomfortable to the point that it makes it impossible for them to enjoy themselves.
Finally, it’s important to not forget that weddings are supposed to be fun, without half of guests missing due to the strict dress code or fear of overheating.
Folks backed up the woman in this situation and assured her that her health is more important than this dress code and wedding
Not enough hate for the in-laws here; wanting to endanger the life of your grandchildren a few weeks before birth is not cool.
Amen to that!
6 weeks before a baby is due is right when poor mum gets the most uncomfortable, swelling, especially the ankles, over heating, shortness of breath after relatively mild exertions, all these can and often do happen. OP simply can't go if her health is at risk, no way. My brother had an outdoor wedding, conservative Christian, one of his poor grooms men, his wife's 17 year old brother fainted during the ceremony, it was 40 degrees Celsius in the shade, there was not much shade. 17 year old fit young man in a tuxedo face planted in the heat, so spare me any vitriol toward a 36 week pregnant woman not covering up on such a day.
SIL needs to reschedule her wedding for December, and move it inside if she wants black tie and long sleeved floor length dresses. The baby will be born by then, and OP and her husband can get a sitter and comfortably attend. Same goes for any other sweat (hyperhydrosis, menopause and post-menopause hot flashes, you name it) and heat stroke prone relatives (young children, pregnant women, and old people especially).
I want to hear an update after the wedding and find out how many people got sick and how many left early because of the heat. I wouldn't even have a SERVICE in an open field in Kentucky in summer, even with the reception in air conditioning and everybody in shorts! Miserable.
Not enough hate for the in-laws here; wanting to endanger the life of your grandchildren a few weeks before birth is not cool.
Amen to that!
6 weeks before a baby is due is right when poor mum gets the most uncomfortable, swelling, especially the ankles, over heating, shortness of breath after relatively mild exertions, all these can and often do happen. OP simply can't go if her health is at risk, no way. My brother had an outdoor wedding, conservative Christian, one of his poor grooms men, his wife's 17 year old brother fainted during the ceremony, it was 40 degrees Celsius in the shade, there was not much shade. 17 year old fit young man in a tuxedo face planted in the heat, so spare me any vitriol toward a 36 week pregnant woman not covering up on such a day.
SIL needs to reschedule her wedding for December, and move it inside if she wants black tie and long sleeved floor length dresses. The baby will be born by then, and OP and her husband can get a sitter and comfortably attend. Same goes for any other sweat (hyperhydrosis, menopause and post-menopause hot flashes, you name it) and heat stroke prone relatives (young children, pregnant women, and old people especially).
I want to hear an update after the wedding and find out how many people got sick and how many left early because of the heat. I wouldn't even have a SERVICE in an open field in Kentucky in summer, even with the reception in air conditioning and everybody in shorts! Miserable.