Woman Under Fire By Her Mother For Just Attempting To Teach 15 Y.O. Son Basics Of Cooking
People who say that with technical progress, miracles and magic disappear from the world are partly right. At least when it comes to cooking. Previously, everything was simple – you either know how to cook or not. And no cookbook can replace natural talent. Well, almost like potion-making in the Harry Potter books.
And now the skill of cooking deliciously is gradually moving from the category of must have to the category of cool, but still a hobby. There is food delivery nowadays, there are many dineries and semi-finished products, according to the instructions on the cover of which even the most notorious culinary Muggle can make a decent meal. So should we teach children to cook or not? The user u/itsjustonemeal, the author of the story we’ll tell you today, has her own point of view on this issue.
The author of the post is a mom of 2 teenage sons and she thinks it’s important to teach them both cooking
Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual photo)
The eldest son is a passionate home cook while his younger brother isn’t that interested in it
Image credits: u/itsjustonemeal
The boy recently even started asking his brother to make him a snack, and the mom took it as a sign from above
Image credits: Darcay Lawrey (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/itsjustonemeal
So starting from now, the younger son has a task to cook for the whole family one day a week
Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/itsjustonemeal
The boy, however, complained to his grandma and she criticized the author harshly, claiming she’d gone too far with this ‘punishment’
So, the Original Poster (OP) has two sons, 17-year-old Adam and James, who is 2 years younger. And if the eldest of the boys showed a noticeable interest in cooking from an early age, and by now he happily cooks for the whole family two or three times a week, then James turned out to be quite indifferent to the culinary art.
No, this does not mean that the teen doesn’t get which way to approach the kitchen table and doesn’t even know how to make himself a sandwich. It’s just that he was never interested in it and, in the author’s own words, James would rather grab an apple than cook something for himself.
Previously, this did not particularly worry the mom, but a few months ago she noticed how James began to clearly abuse his older brother’s penchant for cooking, repeatedly asking him to cook him some kind of a snack. The woman asked her son why he didn’t make something for himself, to which he objected that Adam was simply a much better cook, and his results were always faster and tastier.
The original poster says that she took this as a sign from above, and decided that from now on James would cook for the whole family one day a week. Nothing complicated, like the OP says, just regular food. For example, recently, as she recalls, the teen made grilled cheese sandwiches, a salad and tomato soup, with a side of cut strawberries. Mom, for her part, helps the son with the meal planning and is always ready to help.
Not that James was enthusiastic about this innovation, but the OP explained to him that cooking is a life important skill and ‘feeding yourself isn’t optional.’ However, at the first opportunity, the boy complained to his grandma, the OP’s mother, and she criticized the daughter heavily, claiming that she had gone too far with this “punishment.”
In turn, the author is sincerely confident that this is not a punishment, but simply a change in lifestyle, with the goal of teaching her son the basics of cooking, but now she is tormented by remorse that she is a terrible mother. In her defense, the OP recalls that her husband fully supported her in this endeavor, while the OP’s own brother, who was raised by their mom, does not know how to cook at all, and has “lived on takeout” all his adult life. So the woman decided to ask for advice and support online.
Image credits: Askar Abayev (not the actual photo)
“Yes, in recent decades, cooking has really become an art, and many people feel completely normal and live happily, completely unable to cook anything more complicated than a sandwich,” says Roman Sardarian, a chef from Ukraine, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment on this story. “On the other hand, it’s still an incredibly useful skill, even if we’re talking about making, let’s just say, a dozen basic meals. After all, being able to fry an egg or make a simple soup, I think, can always come in handy.”
“As for the situation described, I am sincerely convinced that cooking is an art and it requires talent and sincere passion for one’s business. Which, apparently, this woman’s eldest son has. But if the youngest of the boys has some time to periodically make simple dishes for the whole family, he will develop skills that will definitely be useful in the future. They certainly will not turn out to be superfluous,” Roman is almost sure.
Most commenters, in fact, completely sided with the original poster, unlike her mother, arguing that cooking is an incredibly important life skill, and that she is thereby trying to develop the habit of taking care of himself in her youngest son. Which is also of crucial importance in the future. “Weaponized incompetency is not acceptable. When he grows up and has a partner, they’ll be very glad that you taught him this lesson,” one of the commenters aptly wrote.
Also, folks in the comments are wondering what the teen would do if he moved out for college. As for the OP’s mother’s opinion, commenters sincerely advise not to pay much attention to this. “She sounds like an old-school misogynist who thinks it’s inappropriate to raise boys to be anything but utterly incompetent in every single domestic task,” someone in the comments reasonably added. So what do you, our dear readers, think about this case?
Meanwhile the commenters backed the mom, stating that she’s just teaching her son to take care of himself and the cooking skill would definitely come in handy some day
How could you possibly be TA for teaching your children basic life skills?
old timer gender politics?
More like "Middle American (fake a*s) Christian gender politics". I'm in my 40s and grew up with many male friends, in NJ. Every last single one of them can cook. Even the scummiest of scumbag exs I had, knew how to cook. I hate him and would likely dance on his grave when he dies, but God, I miss his chicken wings.
Definitely not Christian gender politics 💀
I agree with Stephanie that this is probably more related to which (sub)culture they come from, and not which generation or gender. Coming from an old fashioned working class family, I was still able to make a proper dinner (according to the standards in the 70s) well before I became a teenager. If my mother was away, I made dinner for my dad and me. My dad was the kind of man who could barely make a sandwich by himself, but he was ok with me learning differently. Probably related to him being a die-hard, left-wing socialist.
Especially when her mothers own grown son can't manage to make himself food at home.
NTA. Grandma needs to just come out and say what she believes, she thinks it's the woman's job to be in the kitchen. Maybe if Grandma just outright stated this instead of calling it punishment, Mom wouldn't be so conflicted.
I love how grandma called it "unpleasant chores" - I don't know a single person who thinks cleaning a toilet is "pleasant" and yet he needs to do it once he moves out - or will grandma volunteer? Honestly, way to raise a man-child 🤷♀️
Yeah, if they ever want to invite someone over, they better know what a toilet brush is hahaha
My husband left home for university, and he did not know make anything other than sandwiches, toast or cereal. He also didn't know how to use a washing machine, or use an iron. My mother in law is a lovely person, but she did not equip her son, nor her daughters, to function as adults. .... I've been baking, and then cooking with our children from the age of 2 and a half. They knew how to adult when they left home. This is a basic part of parenting. We are raising babies to take their place in an adult world. Our babies need to learn these skills.
OPs son might be mad at her now, but one day he'll be thankful for the skills she thought him
My dad went abroad to Italy for a couple years after high school. He only really cooks 5 things. But they're the most amazing 5 authentic Italian dishes you've ever had.
Amen!
How could you possibly be TA for teaching your children basic life skills?
old timer gender politics?
More like "Middle American (fake a*s) Christian gender politics". I'm in my 40s and grew up with many male friends, in NJ. Every last single one of them can cook. Even the scummiest of scumbag exs I had, knew how to cook. I hate him and would likely dance on his grave when he dies, but God, I miss his chicken wings.
Definitely not Christian gender politics 💀
I agree with Stephanie that this is probably more related to which (sub)culture they come from, and not which generation or gender. Coming from an old fashioned working class family, I was still able to make a proper dinner (according to the standards in the 70s) well before I became a teenager. If my mother was away, I made dinner for my dad and me. My dad was the kind of man who could barely make a sandwich by himself, but he was ok with me learning differently. Probably related to him being a die-hard, left-wing socialist.
Especially when her mothers own grown son can't manage to make himself food at home.
NTA. Grandma needs to just come out and say what she believes, she thinks it's the woman's job to be in the kitchen. Maybe if Grandma just outright stated this instead of calling it punishment, Mom wouldn't be so conflicted.
I love how grandma called it "unpleasant chores" - I don't know a single person who thinks cleaning a toilet is "pleasant" and yet he needs to do it once he moves out - or will grandma volunteer? Honestly, way to raise a man-child 🤷♀️
Yeah, if they ever want to invite someone over, they better know what a toilet brush is hahaha
My husband left home for university, and he did not know make anything other than sandwiches, toast or cereal. He also didn't know how to use a washing machine, or use an iron. My mother in law is a lovely person, but she did not equip her son, nor her daughters, to function as adults. .... I've been baking, and then cooking with our children from the age of 2 and a half. They knew how to adult when they left home. This is a basic part of parenting. We are raising babies to take their place in an adult world. Our babies need to learn these skills.
OPs son might be mad at her now, but one day he'll be thankful for the skills she thought him
My dad went abroad to Italy for a couple years after high school. He only really cooks 5 things. But they're the most amazing 5 authentic Italian dishes you've ever had.
Amen!